Let's Get Pretty!
by Kohei Takano
Summary: With the help of Shinra's contraptions and Namie's bedroom, things get steamy between the two enemies of Ikebukuro. (Crossdressing, adult themes, yaoi, language) Shizaya Oneshot!


**Kay, I know I should be working on my other Durarara! fic but this one is special.**

**Dedicated to Kaithau!:) I hope you like it!**

**Hey, if you're looking for a cute MakoHaru Free! fanfic, check out 'Shallow Diving' by Kaithau... it's really good...**

**Don't own the characters. Warning: cross dressing and adult themes ahead.**

**Okay, here we go...**

* * *

*SIGH*

Izaya was sitting at his desk in his apartment finding himself completely bored. Namie was out today trying to separate Seiji from that scarred girl and the informant had just finished taunting his favorite monster for the second time that day. He had even resorted to talking to himself.

"Ugh, I'm soooooooooo boreddd. Why can't my humans be amazingly interesting everyday? That brute wasn't even very fun today. He only chased me a little." he said to the empty room with a pout on his face.

Little did he know, Shizuo Heiwajima was working with Tom in Shinjuku that day and decided to pay the flea a visit. (A.K.A. revnge for disturbing Ikebukuro's peace twice in one day.) Marching up to the correct floor, he stopped before slamming open the apartment door at the sound of talking. 'It sounds like Izaya... Is he alone and... talking to himself? Tch. Figures.'

Poor, unsuspecting Izaya was rambling on. "Seriously, why can't Shizu-chan be more fun when I have time to play? He's always more rambunctious when I have a busy schedule. Stupid animal instincts. Maybe I should plot something against his dear brother next? I bet that'll rile him up. Hmmm, let's see. What if I-"

The blonde's ears pricked up at the sound of his nickname inside and he pressed his head to the door. What he heard made his blood boil with rage. 'If he hurts Kasuka... no, he won't even get a chance.' he thought as he kicked down the door and surprised the flea.

"IZAAAAAYAAAA!"

The man inside jumped a little at the sudden entrance. "Shizu-chan! What a nice surprise! Did you miss me already?" the raven said, recovering from his momentary shock.

"AS IF! I HEARD YOU! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH KASUKA! I'LL KILL YOU!"

Izaya smirked. "Eavesdropping, were you? My my, you've sunk to new lows. Calm down, I was just thinking out loud. I haven't done anything... yet."

"Damn you!" the blonde spat as he hurled the only coffee table in the room at the flea.

"Now Shizu-chan, don't wreck my apartment! It'll just prove how much of a monster you are~!"

The table flew across the room to make a huge dent in the wall.

"Tsk tsk. Now I'll have to get that fixed." he scolded as he flew himself at the blonde. He froze seconds before he reached him though. 'Shit. My knife was on that coffee table!' The silently panicking raven searched the room with his eyes for something to restrain the protozoan with and settled on a belt nearby.

"Huh? Why'd you stop? Whatever." the blonde said, catching the flea by the collar of his black shirt before he could get out of reaching distance again. But the agile smaller man was too good for that. Without hesitation, he slipped out of his shirt and lunged for the belt on the couch.

"Hah! You think that'll work on me in my own home? You really are stupid, Shizu-chan." he chided, expecting the other to go into another rage. When he didn't immeadiately roar, Izaya gave a closer inspection of his face. He noticed that Shizuo's eyes were slowly gliding down his now bare chest. His smirk grew devilish, if it wasn't already.

"Like what you see, Shi-zu-chan?" he taunted while giving his dark hair a little flip.

Shizuo caught himself staring at the flea's toned abs and shook his head to clear it of all those thoughts. Coming back from his daze he yelled, "SHUT UP, damn flea! Hey- what're you doing?"

Izaya didn't waste anytime as he took advantage of Shizu-chan's embarrassed state and flipped around so that he was behind the blonde. He then proceeded to quickly hook the belt around his hands. "There! Now for the fun part!" he said as he exaggeratedly wiped sweat from his forehead.

"What the hell?" the debt collector protested. Izaya was now dragging him to Namie's bedroom and sat him on the bed. He took extra joy in the slight pink blush that appeared on the protozoan's face when he saw the situation.

"You'd better not try anything funny. I'll kill you once I rip this belt. (Yeah, you'd think that a belt would be easy for Shizuo to rip through right? Wrong. It's a belt that was a gift from Shinra. So it's unbreakable, even with monster strength.)

"I'm only going to make you pretty!" the raven said with a sweet smile that made the blonde want to puke. This was _too sweet _for his tastes.

Shizuo could only stare in disbelieving horror as the reflection in the only mirror in the room showed his most hated enemy pick up a colored bottle from the side table and start to paint his nails.

He fidgeted, trying to stop him.

"Stop moving around so much, Shizu-chan! You'll make me mess up and I'll have to start all over again!" he whined and to the informant's surprise, the other did stop.

"You are so dead after this." was all he said as the raven continued with the other hand. It was a pretty shade of deep blue that went well with the bleach blonde's complexion.

"Okay! The second coat is finished! Now it just has to dry. I'm gonna pick out some pretty clothes for you to wear! Do you prefer dresses or skirts?"

"WHAT."

"Come on, you don't think this is all I'm gonna do with you finally restrained, do you?"

"NO WAY. NOT CROSSDRESSING."

"Eh? But why not? I do it all the time when I'm under cover.."

"EXACTLY. I'M NOT PERVERTED LIKE YOU."

"Then let's change that why don't we?" He skipped to Namie's closet and pick out a rather large purple dress. 'Hmm, where the hell did she get this? It's so not her style, not to mention her size.' he thought to himself.

"Now how am I going to get this on you? I don't suppose you'll willingly let me strip you?"

"Hell no, fucking flea." was his response, dripping with hate.

"Then I guess that Shinra's contraptions come in handy once again!" the raven said as he smiled something between a smirk and honest excitement.

"Is that what this thing is!?" Shizuo said while motioning as much as possible to the belt.

"Yup! And this one," he said as he went into the other room, "is for knocking you out while I dress you!" and he returned holding some kind of face mask.

When he fit the thing onto Shizuo's struggling face, it released a gas that incapacitated the monster immediately.

Izaya began stripping his protozoan but stopped at the sight of his bare chest. You see, Izaya still didn't have a shirt on and now they were both half naked in a bedroom. The raven blushed at the thought and stroked the defined abs of the blonde. 'Wow, better than I thought. Glad he in't awake to see this, he'd flip.'

Then he did something he never thought he'd do. It was just too hard to resist the perfect opportunity that he'd probably never get again.

He, Izaya Orihara, hugged Shizuo Heiwajima.

All of Ikebukuro would have vehemently denied something like this ever happening if you told them. Granted, one of them was unconscious but technicalities, pfsh.

The brute was not so surprisingly warm and his smell was... intoxicating to say the least. The raven snuggled up to his enemy's face and just laid on top of him for a while, breathing him in. He didn't know what caused him to do this, he just felt like it. It was a once in a lifetime thing to get this close to Shizuo Heiwajima. 'He's probably going to wake up soon. *sigh* It'd be a problem if he woke up to this. And I still have to get him dressed...'

So, a little unwillingly, he pried himself off of the warm, muscular body and finished stripping then dressing him.

Now he looked down at a rather odd image. A man in a tight fitting dark purple dress and black strappy heels. He added some blush and blue eyeshadow that matched the nail polish. In the process of adding makeup, he ruined almost every cosmetic Namie owned. Izaya snickered as he took a picture for blackmail.

The previously limp body stirred and Shizuo blinked his eyes before remembering where he was. "IZAAAAAAYAAAAAAA!" he screamed.

"Shizu-chan! You're awake! Look how pretty you are!" the informant said pointing to the mirror.

"DAMN YOU!" he shouted before gaining composure. "Alright. Since this is the absolute worst thing you could have done to me, you shouldn't object if I did the same to you. So untie me and LET ME KILL YOU DEAD!" The voice that started out in a low menacing tone went up into a shout that gave even Izaya chills.

"How about we make a deal, ne?"

"What. Kind. Of. Deal." he spat through gritted teeth.

"I'll stop harassing you forever and I'll stay out of Ikebukuro if you don't kill me this time, kay?" The shorter man said while slipping on a shirt.

But Shizuo had another thing in mind. "No deal. Listen to my terms, flea." he said while cooking up his plan and smiling.

Izaya didn't fail to notice the devilish grin forming on the protozoan's face. This also sent chills up his spine. The good kind. "Okay..." he said hesitantly.

"How about I don't kill you. How about you let me do whatever I want right now and I'll let you live."

"Eh?" 'What did he just say? Does he mean what I think he means?' "S-Shizu-chan, you couldn't mean..?"

"Oh yeah. You're not allowed to be the only one who has fun." he said in a seductively low voice while he inched closer to the raven haired informant.

"Umm, I don't think I like where this is going..." He truly didn't like not being the one in charge.

"I do."

'Wow his voice is raspy.' Izaya thought. 'Maybe I should let him..' And with that he undid the belt binding Shizuo's hands behind his back.

Those hands immediately grabbed Izaya and slammed him up against the wall. The raven gasped at the sudden pain and the blonde's tongue slid into his mouth. The new shirt he just put on was ripped off of his body and the other felt him up, earning pleasurable noises. They quickly moved to the bed.

After about ten minutes of moaning noises coming from the both of them, the door to the apartment opened and in stepped Namie.

She looked around for her boss and not finding him in his usual spot at the desk (and taking note of the coffee table lodged in the wall) she went to her room.

Izaya and Shizuo never heard the end of the screaming fit she had at the sight of her ruined makeup, Shizuo in her mother's dress, and the two of them half naked all over each other on her bed.

Actually, the informant was kicked out of his own apartment for a week so he stayed at Shinra's.

After Izaya explained evrything to Shinra (and I mean _everything), _he asked, "Hey Shinra. Why did we both get turned on so quickly? I mean we hate each other's guts."

"Well, I think I gave you the wrong mask. I mean I think you got a defective one. You see, my theory is that there was a leakage of one of the drugs used to knock Shizuo out. It was probably the cause of whatever happened after that."

"So you're saying this was all YOUR FAULT!" Shizuo exploded. Celty was forced to restrain him and he eventually went home merely cursing Shinra with death threats.

Even though the two enemies still fought by day, a little more happened at night...

Let's just say that they found it hard to forget the feel of each other's lips on their own... especially when one of them was wearing lipstick...

* * *

**Lol. I like writing this:3**

**Hope you liked it Kaithau! You wanted it to be sexual, I triedXD**

**Review! Make me happy!**


End file.
